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An Open Letter To My Best Friend(s)

This letter came from the heart. I, like many, have had my fair share of friendships over the years. Each one has influenced the person I am today. I wrote this Open Letter for them, and for myself. To accept that life changes, and that’s ok. That we can be different people, on different paths, but still share amazing memories.
I hope it resonates with some of you too.
Thanks for reading.

Dear Best Friend,

I’m sorry that life changed.

That we couldn’t continue to live our lives the way we always had.
We had a dynamic that was completely unique to you and I. A way we talked, walked, lived. And then things happened, and that changed. Suddenly we didn’t fit together the same way. It wasn’t your fault. And it wasn’t mine. Sometimes, things just don’t work anymore.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t miss you, everyday. The sense of togetherness, of not being alone in this world, that you bought to my life. Knowing that there was another soul out there who just got it the way I did.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t cherish all the memories we have, that only we will ever know. I re-live those memories sometimes, with feelings of joy and heartbreak. Like that moment in Inside Out where Sadness turns a happy memory sad for the first time. One memory leads to two, three, fifty; and then the tears start flowing, as moments which had been long filed away flood forward through my mind.

Why though, can I never remember that moment we very first met, or the moment we said goodbye? Possibly because in those moments, I didn’t know something life changing was happening. So many people pass by us everyday without a second thought; how was I supposed to know that you were going to be special, important, and to record every second of that moment in vivd detail?

Instead, what I do remember are the laughs. The long conversations. The dancing, the singing, the boys… I remember the knowing looks, a language all of our own. I remember feeling whole.

Since you’ve been gone, so much as happened that I’ve barely had time to breath. But in those quiet moments (and the stressful ones) or the moments when I just need to hear it will be ok, I wish I could just call you up and be back to where we were. Carefree and us again.

I long to tell you everything that has happened since we’ve been apart.
And hear all the exciting things you’ve gone through too. Sometimes, I have conversations with you in my head and it helps, imagining the tone of your voice and the way you’d giggle with me.

I don’t regret loving you, Best Friend. I don’t regret all the moments we spent together, or that our lives took different paths.

I do regret not having the strength to keep you in my life, to acknowledge that a distance had grown between us and reach out; to understand that although we might not be Best Friends at that exact moment, or in the future again, that we would always have been Best Friends.

And no-one can take that from us.

You changed me in ways I didn’t know until it was too late to say thank you.

So I’m saying it now.

Thank you for the memories.
Thank you, for loving me the way no one else did.
Thank you, Best Friend, for making me who I am.

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