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3 Simple Tips To Banish The ‘Self Care Is Selfish’ Mindset

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The single biggest thing that I see time and time again effecting women’s productivity and mindset is self care. The mindset we have towards it. So many people treat self care as a luxury but here’s the secret: self care is not selfish and it isn’t optional. We need to stop thinking it is.

You see our thoughts cause our feelings which influence our actions; so when we think we tell ourselves that self care or tell ourselves that it’s not a priority, we end up feeling guilty for considering taking time our of days to focus on it. Which leads to us not taking any action.

But why does this matter?

Have you ever felt overwhelmed, unfocused and generally a bit scattered?

I’ll be surprised if you say no because in a world where everything is racing past us, it’s easy to fall into the trap of ‘busy-ness’. We have 55,000 thoughts a day and when we’re not taking care of ourselves first, those thoughts get louder and take up more space, until we crack.

I know this feeling well. I’ve been a bit off last few days (I think we all have to be honest). I’ve felt really rundown, overwhelmed and not quite myself.

Self Care Isn't Selfish

I took some time out to think on why I was feeling this way and realised that while I’ve been focusing really heavily on work, on my productivity and goal setting, my self care has taken a back seat.

My wellbeing has suffered which consequently has impacted my focus, leading me to be less productive and as ‘on point’ as I normally would be.

When we ignore self care and de prioritise what we need it leads to:

  • Increased stress
  • Lowered productivity
  • Strains on realtionships
  • Self loathing
  • Negativity
  • Tiredness
  • Feeling Overwhelmed

The catch 22 Trap

We all do it. We focus on what we think needs to be done.

We adopt this attitude that ‘if I can get jobs ABC done, then I’ll have time to read a book, I’ll have time to have that bubble bath, I’ll have time to go out with my friends.’

These thoughts lead to us feeling guilty about our own self care, and believing that self care is selfish, creating a catch 22 situation for yourself.

You plan to clear your to do list and focus on yourself later, despite feeling a bit rundown and out of sorts.

By denying yourself self care, your mind becomes scattered and your productivity suffers leading you to feel worse.

And then you don’t practice your self care, and the cycle starts all over again.

If we keep telling ourselves we don’t have the time and that our own self care isn’t important, that it isn’t a priority then it never will be. And that needs to change.

The single most important thing on your to do list right now should be creating positive self care habits to give you more time, increase your productivity and be the best version of yourself.

Is your cup full?

Imagine yourself as a cup, with everything and everyone in your life drinking from it; your job, your family, your kids, your partner and your self care.

If you don’t refill your cup regularly, it’s gonna run dry and you’re gonna run out of things that you can give.

Your relationships become strained, stress levels increase and we generally feel really crap.

Self Care is the beet way you can serve all those around you by keeping your cup full and even overflowing.

When your cup is full you feel great and are better prepared to tackle challenges in your life. You’re more focused, you’re less tired.

You’ll feel happier and more fulfilled. And that’s what we want. That’s what we want at the end of the day is a happier, easier life.

Top Tips To Banish The ‘Self Care Is Selfish’ Mindset

In order to keep that cup nicely full we need to be more in tune with what we need. Self care is more than just bubble baths and ‘me time’. It’s daily habits that create positivity, alter mindset and help to create resilience.

1. Adopt a Mindful Attitude

Mindfulness is a concept surrounding being present in the moment. You are focusing on one thing at a time, you are giving something your undivided attention, which then means you feel calmer, you’re more aware.

Mindfulness is the key to identifying your needs, but its. The idea that we need to slow down to speed up. It might sound really backwards, but stay with me.

By adopting a mindful attitude in our day to day life we can ensure that self care isn’t taking a back seat and that our cup remains full.


2. Create a Self Care Habit

So we know that self care needs to be at the top of our list, but habits are hard work. Yes they are!

On average it takes 66+ days to form an automatic habit! But you can do it. And more so you need to.

Here’s how!

Use post it notes around your home to remind you of self care practices you can complete as you go about your day.

Keep a Self care checklist or tracker. Plan specific instances of self care into your week and track them! Creating accountability for your plans means you are more likely to achieve your goals.


3. Keep a Self Care Journal

So many women are put off by journalling because they don’t know what to write, but it’s so much easier than you think.

Get a pretty notebook and a pen you love to write with (planner chics I know you get me when I say that! There’s just something about writing with a great pen!).

Use a page per day and to begin with note down what self care you practiced that day, how you felt before & after and finally a sentence or two about gratitude.

There is so much negativity in the world, everywhere we look. Our brains are even hard wired for negativity (ever wondered why you remember the bad more than the good? Yeah.. thanks Nature!)

Journalling and practicing gratitude creates a focused, positive, reflective moment in your day. Over time this positivity will effect your overall mindset – Heck Yes Positive Mindset!


It’s as simple as 1, 2, 3, to start building your Self Care Habits today and soon you’ll have a full self care routine.

But if you feel like you need a bit of a BOOST have I got news for you! I’ve teamed up with the fantastic team at Ultimate Bundles who have put together the best Mini Collection of Self Care Resources!

Want to know more? Check out The Mini Bundle Here!

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